Into the shadows

The first solar eclipse of the year and it just happens to fall on lunar new year's day. This was suppose to be an annular eclipse, meaning the moon is at a further distance from the Earth and will appear smaller and not cover the entire surface of the sun (duh).

However, it is unfortunate that the umbral shadow does not land near me (damn) but I guess with 80% of cover, its better than nothing. So there I was with my good friend 5th Halo as we set up shop at an open field near his place. Why his place you ask? He's the one with the DSLR camera with the zoom lens. I know, shame on me. It was quite deserted so I guess either everyone doesn't give a damn about this phenomenon or everyone who did probably made their way down to cluster-f**k at the Singapore Science Centre (No offence, astro guys. I know you guys were doing your best to educate the groupies. I just hate crowds)

At roughly 1630hrs (local time), we spotted the first contact as the moon slowly moved in to blot out the sun. Its not very obvious to the untrained eye so leave it to us "old hands" who, even with age (okok, we're not THAT old) and bespectacled, managed to catch the tiny sliver of the shadow creeping in. By the way, that honor goes to 5th Halo, by virtue that he managed to hog the camera at the right time.

After about half an hour, the surrounding light appeared significantly dimmer although again it may appear to be the effect of the clouds. But we know better. By then it was pretty obvious that the moon is significantly smaller than the surface of the sun.

Finally, mid-eclipse approached and the clouds are starting to threaten. Not rain but as sun block. However, we still managed to squeeze off a few decent shots even though the cirrus clouds hovering across the view threatened to blur the images. Thank goodness for exposure settings. I managed to get a good shot of the maximum cover just before the clouds came in and like a night club bouncer, threw us out of the show. It was disappointing but we closed shop just a little after that. We never got to see the sun again for the rest of the day.

Please take note, all shots are made at 250mm focal length on various exposures. And most importantly, with an improvised solar filter. Won't want to fry the optics and the eyes.

The shot in green is actually captured using a normal Digital camera with a piece of welder's glass held in front of the lens, shortly after first contact.

Stars

The stars shining in the heavens. They seem close to each other but they're actually very far apart. Just the same the things you see aren't always real. How hard must I try in order to understand the unseen truth? How far is the distance between the two of us? I want to understand you because I don't understand you. I want to understand because I like you. I reach out my hand so I can gradually get closer. You, my last line and final salvation...

Best Job in the World

Endurance. It's a mind game. You go further when you block out the pain and faster with every gush of adrenaline. But as everything in this fragile human body, the limits of the mind are not boundless.

Sometimes, I just hate the type of work I have to go through day in day out. Thankless, unappreciated and unrecognised work. So far I've managed to smoke my way along, eking out a survival route somehow. Now that the Government of Queensland has came up with this "Best Job in the World" position, I really feel like going for it.

Why? For one, it offers me the chance to go back to one of the most beautiful places in the world. The pay is exceptionally high (I dun think I'll get to see that sum of money in the near future even with maximum scrounging) and it is a chance to get a break one can always make do with.

Why not? I'm probably up against pretty much the rest of the world (duh). I'm too lazy to get down to making a short clip for submission. I'm not so much a PR person, neither do I think I best qualify for the job. My luck is pretty much non-existent (in spite of my omikuji widget telling me otherwise. Yeah, that green blob swaying around) so given the odds are far behind the odds of striking a lottery, I think its a safer bet to go for the lottery.

As you can see, the odds are pretty much against me (sounds familiar, no?). What do you guys think? To go or not to go?

The writer is starting to plan for some holidaying. Anyone has any good places to recommend?

Wretched Fool

It was, to a certain extent, a really rotten weekend and though I'm not glad to be back at work, at least something to do that takes my mind off my troubles.

I'm not one who hides my feelings very well. People usually can tell if I'm not in a good mood although I am trying to change that. I can joke and laugh as per normal despite all the worries inside but occassionally, I still lapse into a silence that just borders on withdrawal. It's like an on-off thing that I can hardly control.

Speaking of which, I haven't had a shave since Christmas Eve. I look more and more like a wretch with each passing day (At least it takes the stares away from my opened fly). Sometimes I try to do what others do, think happy thoughts. Doesn't work. Cause my only happy thoughts are with her. Oh, the frustrations....

There's the songs I listen to. Most of them are uplifting. They should help lift the mood. Crap. The songs actually remind me of her! Argh! But wait, there's the song that I've adopted as my theme song! 笨小孩 (literally translated as "stupid kid"). The more you listen to it, the more it sounded like myself (apart from the timeline of course, I wasn't born in the 60s). So much so I just end up singing along to it on my way down from the office, with no one around cause I suck at singing anyway.

So yeah, this poor fool will for the time being be a little more happy and go with the flow. Even if he knows the game is all but lost, there's no point worrying about that at this point in time. All he can do is continue to hope his days and his luck will turn for the better.

The writer just had his first shave of the year (and first cut, stupid razor). He has turned fom looking like a wretch to (gasp!) still looking like a wretch. Anyone wanna drag him to the karaoke? He's not paying of course.

The better part of me is gone. R.I.P.

To my Angel, you shouldn't be reading this column anymore. I mean it.

Dear friends, I regret to inform you about the untimely demise of a good friend of yours. A large part of me. Despite keeping it on life support for as long as I can, the plug was suddenly pulled out with a swift single stroke.

The pain gave way to sorrow and then rage. To be ignored and rejected simply for sticking around, for doing my best, for being there for you, for reminding you of that incompetant boy.... Yes, I've undertook the risks fully aware of the potentially enormous loss. Yes, the only way to pull the plug was to crush me completely but this reason was something that was too hard to accept. It felt worse than a slap on the face. The physical pain will heal quickly but the dead can never be revived. To know that all my efforts were not comparable to even his crap or whatever unsavoury he can dish out.

Stop dishing out advice of looking at the forest instead of this one tree. It's hypocritical that you chose not to follow your own advice. Especially so when the tree you're eyeing is already dying or dead. (The fact that he comes from a well-to-do family simply irks me even more, after selling my soul and working my ass off and still knowing that I can never top him) Where do you draw the line when there are always something better out there? Perhaps that's why affairs and divorces are becoming more common at this age.

If you're still reading, don't blame me for what I'm about to write.

You are a hopeless, stubborn and ridiculously short-sighted cow. You cannot reciprocate my feelings simply because you still held out, hoping that worthless dickhead will come back. How then can you even suggest that you can reciprocate the feelings of someone else who comes along when you finally do move on? After all that has happened, everything will be lumped together and discarded just simply because I was there for you but it's still at the wrong time?

This was the straw that broke me. I can't help but feel the rage that that moron is indirectly robbing me of my pursuit of happiness. It's so ellusive that even when I found it, I can't get it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. It makes me sick to think that I've unwittingly been burning all the bridges behind me.

I can no longer see others the way I did before. All because you had been a catalyst for change and, like it or not, you've raised the standard. Even after breaking off contact for that period of time, I might have dated but I can never find someone who can really take your place inside my heart. I cannot find anyone who's even remotely near the standard you've set. I had an escape in the form of National Service during the last "recession", there's no where for me to turn to this time. That is why you are probably my end game. My last stop.

I am the Angel with only one wing. I am one that is flawed, unable to be like the others soaring happily in the skies. Like the scruffy dog wondering the streets. I don't really know what hurts more, the fire burning in my stomach, the knife that's piercing my heart, the acid that's burning my eyes or the pain of losing myself...

The writer's views expressed are his own. This board is his hole in the ground. His resolution for the year has already been broken after only 9 days and is currently in an unforgiving mood. Welcome to the Great Depression.

Things just keep getting...

I'm struck by insomnia once again. To compound matters, I've also been running a mild fever for the past few days and to top it all off, I think I have a fish bone lodged rather deeply in my throat and I'm hoping it would dislodge itself soon.

Physical pain aside, mentally its been a torture. How would you feel if you have people under you but to get the work done right, you know it can only be done by you? That is the situation I'm currently facing. Sure I can teach or show them how to go about it but do you really trust someone else who has zero practical experience, no understanding on the process and near zero aptitude? Which begs another question. How do you trust someone to find their way when they seem to have zero directional sense?

Next. I'd like to pose a question to everyone who cares. Say you bought a beautiful vase several years back and it broke perhaps due to poor workmanship or questionable material quality. Would you go back to the same manufacturer to get a replacement? Would you attempt to glue the pieces back and try to ignore the underlining structural flaws? Or would you get a brand new (albeit different) one from someone else?

Think about it and get back to me. I could use some feedback. This fatigue is slowly killing me.

The writer is very relieved its Friday but laments that the week is passing too slowly for his liking and in his feverish state, has attempted to throw the clock out the window just to "see time fly".

New Year, new look, same crappy feeling

New year. New look. Wings have now been revamped and spruced up. Thanks to the help of my friend 5th Halo.

First week in the storm and it feels like a month or a year, already its slipping away from me. Throw in work, a crappy public transport, inconsiderate (read: STUPID) people, plus the world seems to run on Murphy's Law these days. Already I feel burnt out.

The only bright side so far, all seven of my gunplas I've been working on for the past 6 months or so have finally had their eyes "dotted" (traditionally the final step for modellers) but I still have some minor work left to do before I embark on the most ambitious project to date as an otaku. It's a secret to some so I can't publicly reveal it yet.

On the personal front again, the past few days have been rather trying. It is a pain trying to keep your hands away from the phone (or the keyboard) to send a message but I've managed to (so far...). The "so near yet so far" feeling is particularly unnerving and also, I feel like complete crap. The idea of weaning each other off mutually is a "noble" one (even though the excuse was to forget about someone else instead) but I dun think it's gonna work at all, at least not on my part. Reason's very simple. She's been a relief for everything that pulled me down. Now that she's no longer around "for me", there's really nothing to stop that sinking feeling every single day. Well, maybe when Friday comes around that might produce a minor rally in the Current Mood Index. Hmmm, CMI... Cannot make it? Pun certainly wasn't intended when I started. But then again, that's one week down, how many more weeks to go?

Talk to me, please...?

The writer is currently running a slight fever but will not be taking medical leave tomorrow unless it worsens. Now get back to work! You lazy bum! *Crack whip* ~ Ed