Saturday, November 28, 2009

Interview with a Celebrity

Just the other day there was this big hoo-ha about some celebrity being snobbish or "disconnected" during interviews. Let's take a peek at me appearing on Entertainment Tonight (E!).

E: Hello and welcome to the show

Angel: Thank you, I can't say I'm glad to sacrifice my spare time to be here but my publicity manager forced me to.

E: I'm sorry but we'll try to make this worth your time.

A: Ok, maybe I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry but shall we proceed?

E: Sure, what do you think of your latest role in the upcoming blockbuster?

A: My producers would like me to say that it's a very defining role that they created for me but personally I think the character is pretty messed up with the way he does things.
E: But isn't this role suppose to revive your stagnant career?

A: Yeah it may but then again, at the end of the day it's just a job. I do what my employers tell me to do. I don't ask to be held up for worship, hell I don't even need that much money.

E: Oh dear, is that why you've been playing the philanthropist to many major charities worldwide?

A: I do what I can. Beats having those fakes who pay lip service about doing their bit and encouraging others who earn less than 1% of their own paycheck to chip in.

E: We applaud you for that. Moving on to your personal life and gossips, how do you feel being on the wrong side of 30 and still single? Are you actively looking for a partner?

A: 30 is kind of a bad time when things start to go downhill for you and you feel it. On one hand it sucks to be single because of the stigma and pressure from others. On the other hand, it feels much better to have more control over the things you wanna do. And no, I am not seeing anyone special at the moment, despite what the tabloids have been trying to cook up.

E: But do you have plans to settle down and start a family eventually? Do you have a particular eye out for someone at the moment?

A: Now if I were just some average Joe sitting here, I'd probably go "Mind your own f***in' business" *chuckle* but yeah, it's be great to settle down eventually. I do have some interest in a few names in my black book if that's the juicy bit you were looking for.

E: Last question. Beauty pageants all wish for World Peace, what do you wish for?

A: Hmmm, how bout a gorgeous interviewer instead? But seriously, I wish those a**holes (paparazzis) out there would get a decent job and David (Letterman) not make jokes at my expense. Oh, and an agent with more wit and a brain. MJ, Rest in Peace bro! G'night all you kind folks!

The writer is glad he's not a celebrity though he doesn't mind the obscene paychecks. He just can't stand the flies and vultures that gather around. He aslo wish to state that this is all in jest and should not be taken seriously.

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