System failure

I hereby declare the BYOB day a failure, along with all the whacko ideas that the authorities have come up with. Why? Because everything just failed from the end-users' viewpoint.

First up, BYOB day was implemented to try getting people to cut down on the use of plastic bags. Just the other day, I was down to the local supermarket (with my own bag in tow) and was greeted with the sickening sight of all the lazy folks gorging themselves with the plastic bags to carry their merchandise with. There at the side of the counter was a small can which 10cents was to be donated for every plastic bag taken. Not a single cent was ever dropped in after observing 10 people with obvious plastic bag fetishes moving off from the check-out counters. Instant failure...

Next comes the road traffic regulating measures, most "fondly" in the form of higher payment on what used to be heavily-congested roads (which are still congested). Has the ERP succeeded in easing traffic flow? Hell no! Let's put this in the form of a simple analogysince the brains behind it fail to see it so clearly. If I have 100 cars heading to a single point A with only 3 roads leading to A I get congested roads on all 3 with perhaps road 1 being more congested. If I make people travelling on road 1 pay more, I successfully "eased" the traffic flow for road 1. What the nit wits dun see is there are STILL 100 cars on all 3 roads and that number is still allowed to grow! Why is it so damn hard to just cut the number of new cars sprouting out on the roads? Is it because daddy's little boy just got his licence and he has to make sure he gets one so as to show that your family is well-to-do?

Hello people! Yeah, you sitting in that office chair in some Ministry or authority. I seriously question your credentials to be sitting in your positions. I even question your qualifications as graduates or professionals with any common sense.

Say what?

I now wish to refute a very popular gripe among the locals here. Singaporeans are NOT inconsiderate. They are the most kind and generous people around. They can have the heart to throw millions away to every disaster area that needs relief, oblivious to the fact that most of it probably ended up in some politician's pockets, funding their Mercedez rides. They can even donate tens of thousands in "blood money" to a poor murdered girl, which ended up with her mother whom promptly packed her bags and left for her home town in China and live in a life of semi-luxury. All these thanks to our generosity.

So why is it that many of us berate our fellow countrymen as inconsiderate and yet we show such a generous side? The answer is very simple. Singaporeans are ILLITERATE and hence STUPID. Take for example the many sign boards telling people not to litter and yet you see litter underneathe that very sign. What irony. Escalators with signs telling people to stand on the left to let people pass on the right side are not understood, even though its in the universal language English. Whats even worse are the cars that park next to signs asking them not to park there. How do these people even get a licence to begin with!?

Well, thats just it. The government has to step in and start sending the majority of the population back to grammar school instead of harping over the official "statistics" that we have a 98% literacy rate. Because the evidence just points otherwise, that many of the adults and working professionals are simply not up to par yet.

Conscious Nightmares

I am still scarred by the manner in which my mother passed away. Everything has been a (somewhat) welcomed distraction so far as I sought to leave the pieces behind and move on as I have always done for all the bad things that happened. Yet, somehow I keep finding myself looking back and reliving that final 24hrs of anguish and despair during the quiet moments.

Just a clarification though. I am not a mummy's boy. Never was a good boy as well. I have caused her a fair bit of pain and disappointment during those rebellious years as an emo teen. Yet, I can always feel her love for me and the guilt builds up after all these years. Even though I strove to make her proud of me, I never felt I had done so. So there I was, at her bed side in that hospital room the day of her warding. She had complained of feeling chilly in spite of the blankets. It was at that moment that I did the only thing that conveyed my care for her, by taking her hands to give her some warmth. Never in my mind would I have thought that something would happen to her. She was in the care in a country boasting one of the finest healthcare services in the world. What could go wrong? It turned out, everything.

She never regained consciousness after midnight. That night till dawn was harrowing seeing her transferred to the Intensive Care Unit at 2am but still I held faith in the medical professionals. The next afternoon, seeing her lying helpless in bed and being restrained in a semi-conscious state, I broke down in public. Yet still, I held out hope that she might pull through.

Then it started. First, her heart stopped beating but the doctors restarted it and pumped adrenaline to aid the heart. I was sent home earlier to wash up and prepare to spend the night on a virgil and had to rush back in the evening traffic, all the while murmuring desperately for her to at least hold on till I'm there. We finally had the opportunity to go into the room. We were there giving her verbal encouragement, futile hope that she can make it out in one piece. Then against all hope, her heart failed a second time and the nurses pulled the curtains for a final time as despair started to fill my heart. I was shattered when the doctor came out with the bad news. We filed in to be with her one last time. I knew she was already gone. It had been far too long for her brain to still be functioning while lacking in oxygen. It was raining by the time we went home after settling the forms and the funeral arrangements. It felt like the whole world was crying with me.

Several months on. I'm back to working and whatever socialising I had, trying to go back to the "normal" life I once had but the sense of something missing never left. This Mother's day, I bought a stalk of carnation for the first time and visited her. We had never really celebrated that day but I desperately wanted to do something. I still feel alot of guilt and regret for never showing her more concern than I should have as her son. Yet, I know I have to put up a show of strength for the sake of my father, who was probably the hardest hit by this event. With this vast amount of guilt eating away, I don't know how long I can put up this facade as I feel the cracks starting to form. I am human too afterall you know...

One hurdle cleared for the year

It is a herculean task for every "able-bodied" male in Singapore to have to pass their annual Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT). It ironic that almost every male, once having left the army or past the age of 30, inevitably developes an unhealthy increase in the size of his pants. Thankfully, I'm still not in this bunch but its still very demoralising to have to undertake this strainuous task every year.

Not that I have a difficulty in passing, I'm just trying to get the bare minimum (personal)standard of silver (and that $200 that comes with it). So there I was on the running track, running for my dear life, trying to beat the clock with my huffing and panting. Very soon, the dry throat and aching legs caught up but I did manage to cross before my mental endurance collapsed. So I've crossed this hurdle and am able to settle back into being a couch potato again for another year.

And how did I spend that extra cash? I went and blew it by offsetting the cost of a limited edition PSP Slim. And coincidentally its colours coincide with the colours of my team (Red Devils). Everything's good right now :)

Minor updating

Hee, been getting very lazy recently. Have resorted to re-watching Densha Otoko "電車男" all over again, just to fill in the time since most of my anime have not been releasing as regularly. I'm not even sure when the subbers are gonna clear all that backlog.

Oh yeah, had the misfortune to drop into the sea during some treatment of the fish. Wet clothing and wet underwear..... ewwww..... Luckily I did bring a spare set in my bag. Sigh, bad omens for the week perhaps?