I'm only human

I am not a perfect being. I have flaws, issues, emotions and, to a lesser extent, sudden outbursts.

To what I know of myself so far, my greatest flaws has always been my jealousy. As of now I still have yet to fully curb nor completely control it, but I have been able to keep it wrapped up behind a stone wall. It is not something I am proud of as it sometimes do get the better of me.

Then, there have been times when I open up and let slip some comment that was probably inappropriate. This has led to several uncomfortable moments before and it never felt good at all, even if the other party brushes it off. Times like this make me want to clamp up and withdraw back to the shell for fear of making matters worse than they already are but I know that by doing that, things will still get worse. What a choice between a rock and hard place.

Perhaps I should take it easy from now on instead of being too hard on myself. Afterall, friction is part and parcel in everyday life and it shouldn't grind things down to a halt. I have always believed that communications make a well-oiled machine so I feel strongly about talking things out to sort out the issues. I'm not Mr Perfect or Superman. I'm just a normal human being who's trying his best to make his special someone feel just that. Special.

The writer has no wish to argue or provoke a sustained tension. He may appear to be a pacifist but he really doesn't like to lose control over himself or show his fighting side.